How a Marriage can Survive Infertility

There is so much beauty in the way God created human beings. He not only chose to
make us individually unique but also made our counterpart physically different. Men and
women are made to balance and complement one another as one. Therefore, we see in
scripture that God brought them together and then spoke the very first command over
them, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). These God breathed words are a part of our
very being. It is etched into our heart, and has led to a deep, aching, and yearning desire
to be fulfilled. When a couple is unable to multiply and have children it’s a devastating
blow as it seems like an attack on the one thing that has been engraved within our very
being. It is an overwhelming pain that rocks every part of you from emotionally, mentally,
physically to even spiritually. It’s a deep void that leaves a person willing to seek answers
or options that will fulfill what only they feel will satisfy: a child.

Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or unable to carry a child full term. This
can happen when trying for the first baby or the first child may have been a success while
the second has more difficulty. When a couple desires to become parents and then finds
out they may not ever be able to have biological children it can rock them to the core,
which may result in a marriage that becomes shaky and unstable. The setbacks and
obstacles of infertility can push a marriage to its absolute limits. When a couple has
children as an integral part of the vision they have for their lives and then it becomes
challenged, it can be detrimental to their marriage. Therefore, when a couple receives
this devastating news, what could they do to protect their union as husband and wife?

Stand Together! Do Not Blame!

When a couple goes to see a specialist about whether or not they are infertile both the
man and woman are tested. It is then that a couple finds out where the cause of the
problem stems from. This could cause a person to cast blame, which would result in
division and bitterness. No matter the results stand together, as a united front, and as
one. Pointing a finger at someone helps no one because that person will already feel
guilty. Blaming can cause a marriage to crumble as it not only makes things worse but
adds to the already low self-esteem. Instead of accusing, come at it with a “we”
perspective by standing on the truth that, “we will get through this together.”

Give Grace while Grieving

The grieving process bounces around these five stages, in no particular order: denial,
anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This process and the way a person
copes can look differently for every person. However, infertility can lead you down a road
of grief that jumps from anger, doubt to hope, especially when undergoing treatment. The
disappointing attempt time and time again can way heavy on a person. Therefore, offering
grace and support can bring comfort. However, this too could look differently for each
spouse. What would make you feel the most supported, a hug, a listening ear, being left
alone, or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s? As time goes on, you’ll begin to recognize what the
other needs and it may need to simply begin with, “What can I do for you today?”

Make Informed Decisions Together

As difficult as it may be, talking about your treatment options objectively could help you
make a wiser decision. However there also needs to be space for an open and honest
conversation about how to handle moving forward. Regardless of what decision is made
be sure to always be on the same page. Check-in with one another as you proceed
through treatments and discuss how far you both are willing to go to conceive a child.
There are so many options available to couples that are infertile, however from the very
beginning you must know where you both stand as well as be completely informed.
Always know each other’s boundaries.

Encourage One Another

Infertility is a journey no couple asks for but unfortunately, at times, it can be the hand
they were dealt. It’s a hard road for both husband and wife. So, become one another’s
greatest encourager by finding ways and words to be kind. Notice your spouse and
comment on what is good and positive in your life. Think about and discuss the love you
have for one another and remind each other that they are not alone. Desiring a child can
cause some overwhelming emotions but through it all put your relationship first, don’t
forget about each other. As hard as it may be, focus on the needs of your spouse above
your own. Love each other well through this deep valley and once you’re on the other side
your marriage will be stronger.

Keep the Spark Alive

Wanting to do whatever it takes to have a child may mean the spontaneity of your sex life
could become more rigid and scheduled. It could lead to sex becoming a way to produce
an outcome, no longer enjoyable but a chore to hopefully see results. One of the best and
most beautiful parts of being married is being intimate, as making love can breed a deeper
and passionate love for one another. Preserve your sex life by removing the pressures
and doing it even when pregnancy isn’t a possibility. Be intimate with your husband and
wife simply because you love them.

Infertility isn’t a walk in the park, but it also doesn’t need to leave your marriage in
shambles. In the midst of such heartache lean on God, we see this with Hannah in 1
Sam.1:10 as she cried out to God in her anguish. Trust in God’s ways, lean on His
understanding and know “that God causes everything to work together for the good of
those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Rom. 8:28). Even
when the answers are unclear and you grow weary from the rough terrain, run to God, let
Him lead you, guide you, and hold you, because ultimately it is through Him that you will
get to the other side with your marriage intact and stronger than ever.

How to Pray for your Spouse

Need a miracle? Need God’s power to move? Pray! Prayer connects us to the God of the universe.
God has made a way for us to enter into His throne room and have a conversation with Him.
Through prayer we can see the hand of God move, we can tap into His power and strength, and
ultimately invite Him into our situation and into our lives. Prayer not only builds our relationship
with God, but it CHANGES things and even more it changes us. Prayer opens the door for the
Holy Spirit to move and to see the fullness of what God has in store. We become more alive and
more engaged with God the more we open ourselves to him in prayer.

Prayer makes incredible impact and through it we can see the supernatural. So why not tap into
this supernatural power on behalf of our spouse. Prayer is one of the greatest and most tangible
ways we can fully love our husband or wife. It’s a chance to come alongside Jesus as He sits in
the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us (Romans 8:34) and stand in the gap for our
spouse. Don’t stand on the sidelines as a spiritual battle wages war over your husband or wife,
instead get in the fight against the enemy and combat him by covering your spouse in prayer. The
enemy is out to kill steal and destroy (John 10:10), this is why Paul tells us in Ephesians to not
only put on the full armor of God but to pray, “Pray in the spirit at all times and on every occasion
stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere” (vs. 6:18). So here are
a few ways and suggestions on how to pray more specifically for your spouse.

Pray your spouse would have a deeper relationship with God

If your spouse already lives for Jesus pray that he/she would continue to trust and remain in Him.
Pray that their heart would be receptive and open to what God is speaking to them. Pray John 15:5
over your spouse, “ I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them,
will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” Ask God to produce much fruit
in your spouse and they would not do anything apart from Him. Ask God to increase your spouse’s
faith and that God would truly be Lord of his or her life. If your spouse doesn’t follow Jesus, pray
that they would come to know God, that God would reveal Himself to them and they would
accept salvation.

Pray that your spouse would have strong, godly friendships

Whether we want to believe it or not the people we spend time with have influence on our life. So
pray that those who surround your spouse would be people who bring encouragement and who
are also pursuing Jesus, so that they would “motivate one another to acts of love and good works”
(Heb. 10:24).

Pray for your spouse’s responsibility

Pray for your spouse’s job, whether that is away from the home or at home caring for children.
Pray that your spouse finds joy in what they are doing day-to-day and that they will have favor
with their bosses, co-workers, friends, and acquaintances. Ask God to give your spouse strength
and wisdom to fulfill their responsibilities and that they would prioritize family time. Pray that
God will help you and your spouse to be wise and good stewards of what God has given you such
as money, a home and even time. Pray against stress and worries life can bring and that your
spouse would not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present their requests to God (Phil. 4:6).

Pray protection over any mental, emotional, and spiritual temptations your spouse may

Cover your spouse’s heart, mind, and soul by asking God to place a hedge of protection over them
from the lies of the enemy. Pray that your spouse would recognize the difference between the lies
and what is true and that they would take any negative thoughts captive. Pray that your spouse
would not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of their mind.
So that they will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect
will (Rom. 12:2). Ask God to bring out in your spouse the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

Pray for your spouse’s relationship with your children

Cover your spouse’s relationship with your children with prayer by asking God to build, protect
and strengthen the relationship. Pray that both you and your spouse would be a good example and
role model to your children and that you and your spouse’s relationship with Jesus would be
contagious to them. Pray that your husband or wife would love your children well and in a way
that is specific to each child. Pray for patience, grace, and discernment as your spouse seeks to
teach and train your child. Pray that he or she would be faithful to respond to the needs of your
children with love and affection. “Fathers do not aggravate your children, or they will become
discouraged” (Col. 3:20).

There is so many different ways to pray for your spouse, but you know your spouse best and what
may be heavy on their heart so be sure to take that too into consideration. As you pray for your
spouse be mindful to also thank God for your spouse as well. Your spouse is God’s gift to you,
don’t take advantage of them but rather recognize how precious they are to you. Be intentional to
not only speak gratitude to God about your spouse but to fervently pray for them, whether you
have a list of what you want to pray or if you just take a moment to pray what’s on your heart for
them the main point is…. just do it. Just pray and always include your spouse. Remember God
loves your spouse even more than you do and as you pray God will do a mighty work. “And we
know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Rom. 8:28).

Blended Family Tips

Maybe your first relationship ended in heartache or divorce, or maybe a tragedy or illness
took your first love leaving you alone with your children. No matter the circumstance
your heart opens up once again to fully love someone else and the two of you decide to
get married. However, this time the holy union includes children. When two people make
a commitment to do life together and one or both come with children from a previous
relationship it is called a blended family.  

A blended family can offer experiences that are both rewarding and challenging.  Joining
two separate families together as one can bring about a sense of uncertainty whether as a
stepparent or as a stepchild. Any family can have its challenges when seeking to have
harmonious relationships with one another but blending families together tends to have its
own particular struggles and triumphs. It can take years for a blended family to become
fully comfortable with one another. Not only are the new couple getting to know each other
better but relationships with biological and stepchildren can add its own complexity to the
mix. This can cause stress, worry and frustration that may leave you questioning whether
or not you can build a healthy blended family. 

Blending a family is not easy and will come with its own set of growing pains but no matter
how difficult it may seem, with open communication, mutual respect, lots of love and
patience obstacles can be overcome and a bond can form. So, you may want to buckle up
and get ready for a journey that will absolutely have ups and downs but as long as you
don’t lose focus and give up it will be worth it. Here are some tips to help either prepare or
guide you through the journey of blending families. 

Nurture Individual relationships and Commit 

No matter if the new parent has kids or not, having someone new enter the household can
cause disruption to the original family structure. Even if the new member(s) to the family
are awesome there is still an adjustment period because kids will still be loyal to their
biological parents. So, instead of expecting one big happy family right away, take things
slow and build relationships from the ground up individually. Stepparents and
stepchildren need to have time alone together to truly get to know them and hear their
heart. It’s important that the stepparent appreciates, values and respects who their
stepchildren are and what they like. The best way to do this is by having one on one time
without instructing, teaching, or critiquing. Allow the child to discuss whatever is on their
heart; follow their lead.  

A stepparent should make it a priority to set aside a few minutes at a time, adding up to at
least an hour each week, of special time with their stepchildren. This time together offers
an opportunity for the stepparent and stepchildren to find common interests and create a
relaxed and safe space. Getting to know each individual on a more personal level can help
build a foundation that promotes a strong and loving relationship. Parenting roles and relationships will be tested but if a true commitment has been established, it will be easier to see that this too will pass.

Support children during transitions 

A blended family coming together is full of transitions, from new people moving in to
possibly the back-and-forth days between biological parents. This can be tough for children
and big feelings may erupt leading to big reactions. Small incidents may push the child over
the edge, or they may try to test you and push your limits by talking back and showing
disrespect. There may be tears as the child longs to go back to the other parent’s home. As
emotions erupt it’s important to support the child by recognizing transitions are hard and
by offering eye contact and a listening ear.  Allow the child to cry or share their feelings,
instead of them burying emotions. Make room for big feelings, especially during transition
times, and be willing to give the child extra attention. 

Laugh and make memories together 

Blended families have a separate past and memories without their new family members
and if reminiscing occurs it can make those who weren’t apart feel left out and like
outsiders. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong in their family because they don’t
share history, so it’s important to be intentional in making new memories. Having common
memories will build the family unit and when past memories arise create a space that
allows all members of the family to relive an older moment. As hard as it may be to hear
stories you weren’t a part of, it is still important to acknowledge that everyone has a past
filled with different experiences. 

One of the best ways to not only build memories but also a sense of closeness with less
tension is laughter. Laugh together, play together, be willing to be goofy, and then trust
will follow.  

Be respectful of other parents 

One of the greatest ways to create a successful blended family is to recognize there is more
to the family than the newlyweds and kids, the ex. Oftentimes the ex of either one or both
partners will be a part of the picture as children go back and forth.  This simple fact may
raise some tension in the new spouse, especially if hurt and pain was previously involved,
causing irritation and frustration. However, the best thing a stepparent can do is honor and
support the rights of the biological parent.  When frustrating moments arise, keep any
negative comments or tension away from the children. No matter how much conflict a child
has witnessed all children desire their parents to be respected. A child should never be in
the middle of conflict between parents. The heart's desire of a child is for their parents to
get along and to feel loved by both. A relationship between stepparents and stepchildren
can build on a strong foundation when the biological parent is shown respect. 

Build a strong martial bond 

When a couple gets remarried without children, they can take the time to build on their
relationship, get to know each other and create a strong marital bond.  However, when
newly remarried couples enter a marriage with children, couples can become more
consumed with the wellbeing of their children rather than each other.  When a couple
focuses on strengthening their marriage the benefits not only affect the couple but also the
children. When children see love, respect, and open communication between parent and
stepparent there is a greater sense of security.  Enjoy your marriage, have regular dates
and some alone time. Have a unified parenting approach, when children see arguing or
disagreeing, they may feel more inclined to come between the two of you. 

No matter how difficult things get, remember God brought your families together for a
purpose. You are secure in His love and if He is for you, who can be against you?  Don’t
stray away from His wisdom and guidance because with Him all things are possible.

Mutual Respect in a Marriage

To honor a person is to respect them; in fact the definition of respect is “a feeling of deep  admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.” However respect in a marriage requires a step farther than just a feeling it  requires action, a declaration of value for another person. Respect could even be defined  as how you show true appreciation towards an individual. Therefore marital health and  resilience is often determined by how well a couple respects one another. Marital  satisfaction tends to hinge on mutual respect, which ultimately brings a deeper  connection between the husband and wife. Simply put, respect sees the whole person and  not just someone you can get something from. Scripture says it this way, “Do nothing out  of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves”  (Phil. 2:3).  

Respect in a marriage is a two-way street as both individuals crave and deserve it equally,  not one deserves it more or above the other. Each spouse should offer respect simply  because they recognize the value of the other. Mutual respect is vital in a marriage. It  truly matters! It is a sign of a deeper connection that includes trust, support, and the  knowledge that, without a shadow of a doubt, you love and appreciate each other fully.  When respect is absent in any kind of relationship the result often ends in conflict or  disinterest and, in a marriage the lack of respect, can lead to its destruction. Therefore  here are some ways to show respect towards your spouse. 

Display Trust 

Oftentimes when there is a deep connection between two people trust goes without  saying. However a person only gains trust through their actions and whether or not  they’ve proven trustworthy. As you are supportive and dependable trust will be granted.  This trust can be demonstrated by simply being real in every area of your life and not  constantly trying to hide your flaws. When true colors are shown your partner can fully  love, respect and accept you. Be open and be willing to confide in one another; reveal  what’s on your heart, by being vulnerable. Don’t keep secrets from one another, speak the truth and keep your promises.  

Thoughtful Communication 

To have a healthy and thriving relationship you must know how to communicate with each  other well. Express to your spouse what you need or want, don’t assume they can read  your mind. When you have a disagreement, fight fair by sharing what you are feeling and  what’s bothering you without blaming or pointing the finger. Respect, however, even in  an argument seeks to find a solution without tearing the other down or to meet only your  agenda. Communication goes both ways meaning there is a time to speak and share  what’s on your heart and a time to listen. Respecting your spouse means you are listening  with the intent to fully hear and know. However communication can go beyond words, it can include doing something you know your spouse enjoys such as wearing the perfume they like or by picking up your socks and putting them in the laundry basket  rather than leaving them on the floor.  

Accept Differences 

God has wired both of you in such a special and unique way. In fact, it was probably  those differences that drew you towards one another. Therefore respect your spouse by  not criticizing their ideas or interests. They see the world through a unique lens, which  can offer you a different perspective. You each have your own personality traits, talents,  quirks, and past experience; therefore showing respect means you appreciate all that your  spouse brings to the table. There is value in your differences. Mutual respect gives a  person the freedom to be exactly who they’re created to be without fear of judgment.  Celebrate your differences and don’t compare yourself to one another as you are both  individually masterpieces.  

Give Space 

Having mutual respect for one another means you recognize certain needs. Therefore you  may need to define boundaries and what you need to refresh and recharge. This may  include giving each other some space. Space may mean you welcome your spouse home  with a kiss and don’t force them to talk about their day, or you don’t guilt trip them when  they want to go out with friends. Allowing time alone or with other people without  hovering shows maturity and respect. It is important that you and your spouse have your  social needs met through healthy friendships outside of the marriage.  

Champion Each Other 

Show your respect and love for your spouse through encouragement. Putting your energy  and focus on speaking life over your spouse will communicate that you care and  acknowledge who they are as a person. You can’t go wrong in being your spouse’s  greatest cheerleader. Champion each other by celebrating each other’s victories and build  them up when the road gets tough. Don’t complain about your spouse in front of family  or friends. It is disrespectful to shine a negative light on your spouse when you have  grievances with them. The same goes with contradicting your spouse in front of others.  Championing your spouse means you have an undivided front and remain on the same  team.  

Respect can ultimately strengthen a marriage; the more consistent you are the stronger  it’ll be. Romans 12:10 says this, “ Love each other with genuine affection and take  delight in honoring each other.”

Communication Tips for Married Couples

Communication gives a person the opportunity to know and be known. It is the  foundation of all relationships, whether you’re communicating with a friend or with your  spouse. Communication gives two people a chance to connect, build, trust, be vulnerable,  and to learn from one another. A good conversation brings people together, but bad  communication can cause distance and disconnect. Good communication in a marriage,  however, is absolutely vital especially in keeping the marriage healthy. When a husband  and wife know how to communicate well they feel respected, validated, and understood,  making it easier to work out any misunderstandings or frustrations. 

Good communication can be sweet, especially when you love one another with kind and  loving words. Proverbs 16:24 says this “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul  and healthy for the body.” When words are communicated well then it opens up a space  for two people to bare one’s soul, to laugh, to cry and to create an intimate bond that is  founded on trust and understanding. When there is good communication there is a good  balance of positive interactions that range from listening and validating a person to  expressing appreciation, affirmation, and compliments, all while using a soft and sweet  tone. Don’t forget body language, this too is included with good communication and may  involve some physical affection. There must be five times as many positive interactions  than negative ones for a couple to thrive and have a happy, healthy marriage.  

We are all broken and no matter how wonderful the marriage, or relationship, might be, a  disagreement or frustration will occur and the way you respond will determine bad or  good communication. Bad meaning you are raising your voice, name calling, or  degrading your spouse. Negative things will arise in a marriage, your buttons will be  pushed but it’s possible to have a frustration, or complaint, that can be responded to well.  This all begins with how you communicate regularly to one another. So let’s discuss  some ways you can cultivate good communication within your marriage. 

Be Curious 

When your spouse is genuinely curious about how you are doing or how your day was,  you feel valued. You may have been married, or in a relationship, for quite a while and  think you know all there is to know about the love of your life but there is always more.  In fact you may be surprised what you might come to know when you become curious.  

Take time with one another and ask questions like: What was the best part of your week?  When did you feel closest to me this week? What’s something I can do to make your day  or week better? What can I do to make you feel more loved? These questions offer space  to be real, vulnerable and open to one another and through them you will gain better  

understanding. Being curious also means you must be intentional, intentional in spending  time with one another, maybe turning off all devices and taking time each day to look in  each other’s eyes and catch up. It is in those moments that your communication skills  with one another will build and grow. 

Listen Well

There is a reason God created us with two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen twice as much as we talk. Being an attentive listener means we are not  only listening with our ears but with the heart. Fully listening gives the opportunity to  empathize and understand before responding. However so often it’s easy to only listen to  respond, anxious to speak and get your point across. Although being attentive with your  listening will help you see more clearly your spouse's hopes, fears, and emotions. Your  marriage and communication will drastically improve when you can learn to listen  without judgment and being anxious to jump in. When your spouse feels listened to they  will feel validated and respected. Listening well will bring you two closer together. It is  when you are willing to push your own agenda aside and fully listen that issues can get  resolved. 

Remember the Golden Rule 

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you” (Matt. 7:12). How would you  like to be treated? Do you respond well to nagging, shouting or unkind words? Most  people don’t. However the only person you can truly change is yourself. If you desire to  be fully listened to and heard then you too should practice listening well. If you would  like help with different tasks around the house you should be quick to see how you can  also help your spouse. If you want your spouse to show more affection or kindness than  you should start by showing them. Instead of being quick to point the finger, recognize  how you would like to be treated and then treat your spouse that way. Often people will  reciprocate how you respond to them. 

Pray Often 

Marriage. Communication. These things can be difficult when you are going about them on your own strength and abilities, in fact when you do it alone you will most likely fail.  However when you incorporate God into this process, He becomes the glue that holds us together and the teacher that teaches us to live out the Golden Rule. He offers strength, wisdom,  discernment, and love. He helps us see our spouse fully as we allow Him to mold and  mend our marriage as well as the way we communicate to one another. The best way you  can invite Him in is through prayer. Phil. 4:6-7 reminds how powerful prayer truly is,  “Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and  thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace…” Prayer aligns our marriage, the way we speak, and our actions with God. “Pray continuously” as  1 Thess 5:17 states. Pray for your marriage, communication, for your spouse and even for  yourself. When a heated moment arises the best way to simmer down is through prayer and opening a door for the Holy Spirit to rearrange your heart a bit. Pray individually and  pray together! Prayer will build your marriage and help you be more aware of what God is doing in your own heart and mind.  

Be Quick to Forgive

Remember you love this person! Love keeps no record of being wronged (1 Cor. 13:5b). Anger, resentment, and unforgiveness can cloud your judgment making it difficult to  communicate and listen well. When these emotions are allowed to fester, bitterness can  take root in your heart. Then you will lose sight of what is good and worth valuing in your marriage. Therefore you must be “slow to become angry” (James 1:19) and quick to  forgive. Mistakes are inevitable because we are all human but it’s the way you  respond that can make or break a relationship. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to each other,  tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” 

If you can learn to communicate well, your marriage will flourish!

The Importance of Marriage

What a wonderful thing it is when two people find love. As the love deepens and  strengthens it gets harder to be apart. Therefore the couple has to make a choice of what  their future together will look like. Many find the next step to be moving in with one another even if marriage hasn’t been discussed. While others believe cohabitation is not  only acceptable but strengthens the chances of a successful marriage. As appealing as  these options may seem, especially if divorce has been in the picture, we must be aware  of how our enemy operates. He tends to lead us down a path that results in us believing  the counterfeit is necessary; such as living like married couples without actually being  married. Anything counterfeit is made to imitate something valuable or important with  the intention of being deceptive. Some may say that a marriage is just a signed piece of  paper, but really it is so much more than that. God designed marriage because He saw  that it isn’t good for man to be alone, man needed a companion to do life alongside. God  meticulously crafted all that is created to point to Him, which includes marriage. God’s  hand and blessing is over the union between husband and wife; for his word says, “as a  bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you” (Isaiah 62:5b).  Marriage is important and here are some reasons why:  

Marriage Involves A Covenant With God

Marriage is a lifetime commitment that is sacred because it involves not only a covenant  between one another but with God. It is literally the act of going from two separate  individuals into one. Jesus says it this way, “ At the beginning the Creator ‘made them  male and female,’ and said, ‘for this reason man will leave his father and mother and be  united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one  flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matt. 19:4-6).  Marriage honors and glorifies God. It is His desire for people who chose to live together  to be married, so that they can receive the fullness of God’s blessings. Marriage is not  without its challenges, however, when both husband and wife are choosing to honor God,  He acts as the third strand, which cannot be easily broken when intertwined with two  others.  

Marriage Promotes Selflessness And Holiness

As profound as it may be for two broken people to join as one and live a lifetime  together, God chose this avenue to be the best way for us to love one another like Jesus  loved the church. Therefore marriage teaches us how to love selflessly; to put others' needs before oneself. The worldview of love is that it’s a feeling that can come and go  but really it is a choice; a choice to value another person by offering patience, kindness,  honor, respect, and no record of wrongs. To fully love you must lay down your own  selfish desires for the sake of another just like Jesus did when He went to the cross for us.  It tends to reveal areas in our life that need to be sanctified by Him. Therefore marriage  strengthens the selfless perspective, by bringing awareness to our natural selfishness,  which then leads us down a path of holiness. Marriage is meant to have its joys, and its trials, a rollercoaster of highs and lows to help shape and grow us more into the image of  Christ.

Marriage Keeps Us Pure And Secure

Temptation is constantly lurking around us trying to get us to take the bait. In fact, here is  what Jesus says in Matthew 5:28 about one, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman  lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Marriage is designed to  keep us pure in our heart, mind, and body. The bond of marriage offers deep satisfying  love that meets the need for physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. It is through this  connection that gives a person the support to defeat temptation. With intimacy comes a  sense of security and the feeling of being safe. When God created Adam and Eve in the  garden they were both naked and unashamed (Gen. 2:25). Marriage gives us the  opportunity to be fully known by their spouse at the deepest and most vulnerable level,  which brings trust. When a marriage is placed firmly on Christ, it makes it harder for the  enemy to weasel his way in. 

Marriage Benefits Children

Children tend to thrive when their mother and father are married. It provides a safe and  healthy environment for them. When a child’s parents are facing adversity their behavior  may change. When God commanded man and woman to be fruitful and multiply. He  recognized the value in a child having the security of both mother and father as one.  Children, on average, do better in school, have minor behavioral issues, and have a better  chance at forming healthy relationships when they live under the roof of two parents. A  healthy marriage gives your children a front row seat to experience the benefits of a deep  family bond. 

After God created man and woman He saw that it was good. By nature our God is a God  of relationships as we see in the trinity as well as the creation of angels; therefore He  recognized the immediate need for companionship for Adam. God created women to be  the perfect match, companion, and help mate for him. Marriage is a precious gift from  God that refines, strengthens, empowers, teaches, and ultimately points us back to Him. It  is God’s best for you and the person you choose to spend your life with. Couples who  have allowed God to be at the center of their lives individually and relationally become a  living testimony of God’s blessings and redeeming love.